Teaching Superstar Gifts

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

A Puppet Named Juan

Exam

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"I started a collection!"

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

Bigger Brain

'Between the school assignments, sports classes, and dance lessons, I hardly have any time to spend with my dolls.'

Child stands on Math help books to reach blackboard.

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"I got an A in not being annoying!"

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

"We started learning about units of measurement in math class, but I don't really understand it, so I've got an acre of homework to do."

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

'Straight A's. That means good.'

Waiting for the results.

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

'How did you get so many kids to sign up for your geology class?'

"It helps to read a grade level ahead!"

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"