Teaching Genius Gifts

"In my experience, telling a kid 'without an education you can't get a job', almost never works. But, 'without an education you can;t get a job to get money to buy new sneakers and C.D.s,' works every time."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Kirsten Johnson

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'I'm studying how other geniuses handled creative blocks.'

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

This Amount of Computer Code

"Need help with your computer project? I have two teens at home."

"It's new and improved because we now have better advertising."

Big Deal/Done Deal.

"And you laughed when I had it installed."

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

"You're part of our targeted market."

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

'I can hack into any website, but those child-proof bottle caps are still a challenge!'

"It's pretty bad when a goldfish has more memory than your computer. What were we talking about?"

Herd Nerds.

'It doesn't mention the things I'm a prodigy in.'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

'My idea's quite simple really. Put the money in the bag!'

The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.