Academic Genius Gifts

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

Nervous Oral Testing

The Proust of Twitter

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Writer's Block Party

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

"Now we know who'll be taking care of us in our old age."

T. S. Eliot