Academic Visionary Gifts

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

I'm going to grow up to be an educator. Excellent, dear. Teaching is a noble profession! No, Nana. I'm going to be an educational expert. Coming up with theories on how to run schools. Teaching is much too hard! Amen!

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Someday you'll see my work in the employee break room at the Met."

I need to set upmy own company.

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"You realize this means we won't be getting any government bailout money...?"

The United States' economy deflating.

DACA

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

'Where do you see yourself in five years?'

'The future of medicine' "It's genomics." "I'd say proteins." "Same as always: economics."

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

"I'm ahead of my time."

Start up

As an artist, Ug was thousands of years ahead of his time.

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

'Who knew this whole capitalist system was a bubble!'

"I can't wait until we're older so we can get into the cannabis industry. At least then we can make a difference in people's lives."

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

"My dad's been on my case...he says I should be preparing for my future career. But what kind of training can I get here for a job that's tough, will make tons of money and highlight my incredible bod?"

"An inflatable dome will allow us to live on other planets."

Academia Can Kill By Degrees