Academic Genius Pillows

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

The Proust of Twitter

Nervous Oral Testing

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

Writer's Block Party

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

"Now we know who'll be taking care of us in our old age."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

T. S. Eliot

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'