Teaching Genius T-Shirts

"In my experience, telling a kid 'without an education you can't get a job', almost never works. But, 'without an education you can;t get a job to get money to buy new sneakers and C.D.s,' works every time."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Kirsten Johnson

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"And you laughed when I had it installed."

"It's new and improved because we now have better advertising."

Big Deal/Done Deal.

"Need help with your computer project? I have two teens at home."

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"You're part of our targeted market."

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

'It doesn't mention the things I'm a prodigy in.'

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

Herd Nerds.

"It's pretty bad when a goldfish has more memory than your computer. What were we talking about?"

'I can hack into any website, but those child-proof bottle caps are still a challenge!'

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."