Teacher Chuckler Gifts

I brought two #1 pencils.

'Home Schooling'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"No, Bobby, I won't put you on my do not call list."

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'Think Basics.'

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'What does surrender mean?'

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

What teachers want to say.

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

"So the year '2020' can also be written. . ."

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

"Think inside the box, Roger."

"I'm sorry, James...but I'm afraid Jelly Beans aren't a vegetable!"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'Instead of giving you an apple, I thought a Droid might not be recalled.'

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A Fsh."

A teacher sits in front of a blackboard that advertises various school subjects as being for sale.

"Before you take my phone away, can I tweet that you're taking my phone away?"

'Being a pencil sharpener monitor does not mean that you have an environmentally dangerous job.'

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

"I keep getting into a flap."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"I meant are there any questions about the math problem, James...you'll have to ask your parents about where babies come from!"

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!