Taxidermy Enthusiast Gifts

Matador Taxidermy

'Our accident in Wyoming wiped out our vacations for the next 5 years.'

'It was Oscar's final request.'

“How fast must it have been running to get its head that far through the wall!?”

'I'm taking a course in taxidermy so I'll have something to fall back on in case this whole King thing doesn't work out.'

Human skin rug.

'Fido's looking old, don't you think, Cynthia?'

'Would you mind handing me that needle and thread, sir?'

"Can't you hang your wash somewhere else?"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"The invention of taxidermy."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

D.I.Y

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Today, son, you are a man."

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

Joint Ventures!

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I'm going to be a little late.'

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving