Taxidermy Aficionado Gifts

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

"If you had a butt I'd kick it!"

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"The invention of taxidermy."

The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo.

D.I.Y

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Penny

Joint Ventures!

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

'Are you guys still watching the tapestry? Why don't you go outside it's such a nice day!'

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

"Anatomy of a cat"

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

Superintendent

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

"... And precisely how long have you been reading underground comix?"

Pizza Delivery Delays

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

Little girl curling the mane of her father's lion hunting trophy.

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Well, just when can you call for it, Mr. Harper?"

'Now this was a crafty one!'