Taxation Wizard Gifts

Monster under the bed.

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audit Section

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

The Accountant Husband

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'