Tax Wizards Gifts

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"Sorry for keeping you sweating, I'm putting you through now."

There are three kinds of accountants...those who can count and those who can't!

"Yes, a lot of peple say that I remind them of Christopher Lee"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Saving for College.

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"