Taxation Wizards Gifts

IRS: 'Life isn't fair.' - John F. Kennedy

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

IRS Audit Section

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

Budget reaction.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

Monster under the bed.

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'