Tax Wizardry Appreciator Gifts

Tax Accountant: More that 4521 Loopholes Transacted.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

Footing The Bill

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."