Tax Loophole Wizard Gifts

Tax Loophole: Putting everything in the dog's name.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

"No offence Jon, but..."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

Monster under the bed.

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

The Accountant Husband

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'