Tax Loophole Wizard Gifts

Tax Loophole: Putting everything in the dog's name.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"No offence Jon, but..."

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

Monster under the bed.

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'