Tax Code Wizard Gifts

"I've called you Mr. Sykes because your self assessment return blew out a whole bank of our computers."

Honk if you're against Warren Buffett's millionaire tax.

The transparent safe box of Panama

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

Monster under the bed.

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'