Tax Whisperers Gifts

"The ruddy inland revenue is planning to tax subsidised lunches now."

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Rising Gas Prices

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

Ukraine War Clouds

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

News. To broaden the tax base, they started making robots pay income tax. Of course! They can't vote. IRS. My first tax return and I get audited! They said everything was wrong! Despite the fact humans totally rely on us, we can't list them as dependents! They said my "net income" is not what I earned working online. And I shouldn't have used the "short" form even though I' have some bad electrical wiring! You'll do better next time ... just remember to disconnect your logic board befo

In the red

"My hunch is heads will roll."

One day, John found out that not only he could understand animals but his money, too.

Tax haven.

"Do you mind if we do this without the violins?"

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'You can come in now - the auditors have gone.'

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

Economic Experts

Today's Topic: "The value of money" You know what they say, Frank, "money talks." Whenever my money starts to talk, I get a bill to shut it up.

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

'I doubled my money! The bank dude gave me 20 50-cent-coins for lousy ten one-euro-coins!'

'This portfolio is perfect for someone who has become too materialistic.'

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

'On Wall Street, stocks and bonds dropped on news that past performance is no guarantee of future results...'

Tax Preparation Service - Free alterations.

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."