Tax Whisperers Pillows

"The ruddy inland revenue is planning to tax subsidised lunches now."

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Rising Gas Prices

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

Ukraine War Clouds

In the red

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

Tax haven.

"My hunch is heads will roll."

"Do you mind if we do this without the violins?"

One day, John found out that not only he could understand animals but his money, too.

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

Economic Experts

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

'This portfolio is perfect for someone who has become too materialistic.'

'I doubled my money! The bank dude gave me 20 50-cent-coins for lousy ten one-euro-coins!'

'On Wall Street, stocks and bonds dropped on news that past performance is no guarantee of future results...'

Tax Preparation Service - Free alterations.

Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

'It was such a nice salesman who told me that this is a special bargain and all your friends will envy you when you use it as a bottle opener!'