Trade Whisperer Pillows

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Opening the door to new customers

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

Computer whisperer.

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

WWW.World.com

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'Are you hiding something from me?'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

Ukraine War Clouds

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

"Our trade deficit is at an all-time high, and you order English muffins?"