Corporate Whisperer Pillows

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Opening the door to new customers

'What do you mean...You feel uncomfortable asking for time off?'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

"Love your feng shui!"

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

'Don't keep complimenting them on their work, or before you know it they'll be asking for a rise.'

Ukraine War Clouds

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'Are you hiding something from me?'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'