Tax Terror Deflector Gifts

'We'll have one long form, one short form, and one just-right form.'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

"This is not good at all!"

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

'I'd like the short form instead...'

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

"You can file as a limited liability company in this State, but you'll be subject to a 'Not So Fast, Buddy' franchise fee."

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Tax grab.

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

Man has his pockets emptied of cash at internal revenue office.

Tax - Random Audit

"So son, if you keep your nose to the grindstone and work hard, you can grow up to be bludgeoned by the IRS, too."

"If it's the I.R.S., tell them: Not a penny! Not a centime! Not a sou!"

Build a better mousetrap and the IRS will beat a path to your door.

"Can they tell I cheated on my taxes?"

"My ship came in, but the Government put it in dry dock."

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

'Albert, it was just a nightmare! Believe me, there's no taxman-monster under the bed!'

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

buck stops here-taxes...mine

'I've been paying taxes for 63 years, and I still don't have the hang of it.'

'That was devious and despicable... keep up the good work.'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

He keeps us humble.

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'