Tax Tension Reliever Gifts

'Well, I hope you're satisfied -- I spent all afternoon going over your return, and I can't find a thing wrong with it!'

"Can an investment vehicle save you money?"

Milking small business.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Tax.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

'I'd like the short form instead...'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'Dad's saying he controls my allowance because of something called the Commerce Clause.'

Romney Tax Desk: Accounts Receivable...Accounts Believable.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Tax grab.

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

"Can they tell I cheated on my taxes?"

tax rises...

"My accountant said it was a great write off."

'I've been paying taxes for 63 years, and I still don't have the hang of it.'

'How's the executive training program, going?'

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

Dangerous tax audits.

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

He keeps us humble.

'We'll have one long form, one short form, and one just-right form.'

'Isn't that nice, honey? Our money sent a postcard from the tax haven!'

Tax time is simply disgusting.

Man's self-assessment form says: 'I'm screwed.'

Hello, Mr Babcock, this is 1983 calling.

'Did you remember to pay taxes on this?!'

"Maybe it’s not the best time to mention the subpoena."

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

'I'm giving you the maximum punishment...I'm letting you go free to worry about taxes, inflation and everything else, just like the rest of us.'