Tax Taleteller Gifts

'It's your WIFE'S name? When you said you were claiming an allowance for supporting CHELSEA I thought......!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

'I'd like the short form instead...'

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

News. To broaden the tax base, they started making robots pay income tax. Of course! They can't vote. IRS. My first tax return and I get audited! They said everything was wrong! Despite the fact humans totally rely on us, we can't list them as dependents! They said my "net income" is not what I earned working online. And I shouldn't have used the "short" form even though I' have some bad electrical wiring! You'll do better next time ... just remember to disconnect your logic board befo

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

Tax grab.

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

"Can they tell I cheated on my taxes?"

"Do you mind if we do this without the violins?"

Tax haven.

Boss

I can't believe that when I was young I thought "tax man" must be some sort of superhero!

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'I've been paying taxes for 63 years, and I still don't have the hang of it.'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

"Is your glass half full with windfall profits, or half empty with a capital gains problem?"

Clerk in tax office filing between fact and fiction.

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

"Careful...she bites."

He keeps us humble.

Dangerous tax audits.

Uncle Sam.

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'