Tax-a-thlete Gifts

'Because of taxes, I may have to make some drastic changes.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

"Tell the press direct EU-taxation is necessary..."

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

'Grible is a fiscal conservative. You know — 'if it ain't broke, don't subsidize it.''

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

"Here's a new one, intellectual property tax."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.