Tax Form Wrangler Gifts

'It's no good complaining, Mr. Ferguson - It's my JOB to make things as difficult as possible!'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"After reviewing your resume, I don't think you should be teaching English - I think you should be study English."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

How Many It Takes

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

Why you must go to work

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'The secret of getting a good job that fits you perfectly is letting yourself in on what that really is!'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

'And the 4 years it took him to get the permit teaches him a lot about doing business in the U.S.'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

HR worker wading through CV's.

Tax - Random Audit

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'Quick - tell me something about yourself not on your resume that will snap you into focus.'

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'