Tardiness Analyst Pillows

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

A boy and his spin patrol.

"I'm very good with punctuation."

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

'Your wife came by and left a message'

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

"You reach an age where you start to question what you're DOING with your life...."

"For some reason, you do most of the aging in February."

"We apologise that the train on platform 3 is leaving on time"

The clock for people who have no idea when they will be there.

'Can Mr Rabbit call you back? I'm afraid he's running late again...'

"Jehoshaphat! Look at that gait!"

"You could add 'Men who say "Ciao!" who are not even Italian or of Italian descent' to that list."

Providers struggle to come to terms with longevity issues...

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

"This says the median age for Hispanics in the United States is 27...the median age for all the other groups is much higher."

'Sorry folks you've missed this cartoon.'

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

"Well your client feedback is very positive, 90% judged you excellent,5% exceptionally good and the remaining 5% want to have your children."

'The 10 Habits of Highly Annoying People'

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

"Face it, Herb, you're one of those people who peaked in high school."

'He's three tomorrow and from now on everything he sees will probably be repeats!'

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R - UT) Retiring after 42 years. Hope he has a nice pas

"Morning guys, I got out of home early today."

'Perkins, you're 5.2376712 seconds late!'

"What goes around comes around more annoying."

"Sorry I'm late. I didn't leave on time."