Tardiness Analyst Gifts

Every time a bus is late I have to ask myself if that's a bad thing or a good thing. Bus.

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

A boy and his spin patrol.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"Tractors, Sir - thousands of 'em!"

"I'm very good with punctuation."

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

" ... and here's where you took vacation."

'Your wife came by and left a message'

"You reach an age where you start to question what you're DOING with your life...."

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

'Aren't you a little worried all that begatting will get out of hand?'

"For some reason, you do most of the aging in February."

The clock for people who have no idea when they will be there.

"We apologise that the train on platform 3 is leaving on time"

'Can Mr Rabbit call you back? I'm afraid he's running late again...'

'Sorry folks you've missed this cartoon.'

"Jehoshaphat! Look at that gait!"

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

Providers struggle to come to terms with longevity issues...

"You could add 'Men who say "Ciao!" who are not even Italian or of Italian descent' to that list."

"This says the median age for Hispanics in the United States is 27...the median age for all the other groups is much higher."

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

"Well your client feedback is very positive, 90% judged you excellent,5% exceptionally good and the remaining 5% want to have your children."

'The 10 Habits of Highly Annoying People'

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

"Morning guys, I got out of home early today."

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R - UT) Retiring after 42 years. Hope he has a nice pas

"Face it, Herb, you're one of those people who peaked in high school."

'He's three tomorrow and from now on everything he sees will probably be repeats!'

'Perkins, you're 5.2376712 seconds late!'

"What goes around comes around more annoying."