Talent Show Enthusiast Gifts

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

'Britain's got talent.'

ACADEMIC IDOL............'The yodeling effect of the vowel repetitions was novel and infectious. And yet, I feel that it was Professor Elliot's choice of subject matter that let him down here.'

Must I also sing and dance?

'NEXT!'

'I've watched every season and I know what the judges want. Unfortunately for me, it's talent.'

"I'm worried about your father. He's staring into the abyss."

The Judging Panel Judge

"My name is Shirley and I'll be signing 'My Heart Will Go On.'"

"Pop stardom might not be the most realistic of ambitions, Billy. I should know- I was the winner of last year's X Factor."

"That's just it! She's good at everything! She gives me high good pressure."

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

"I'm into humiliation - can you direct me to the X Factor auditions?"

AD 763. Hopeful entrants in the first Easter Island Idol competition.

Cowboy sings on talent show called 'The Tex Factor'.

American Sports Idol.

"All songbirds these days have no talent. They all just break sync."

"I blame it on all those talent shows!"

'We'd just like to get away from 'American Idol' for a while.'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

TV and cleaner

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Trump commissions song

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

My client vigorously denies your charges. He says he has great respect for what makes you special. He knows that you like Amy Winehouse, watching The Office, secondhand clothes. You're reading off my Facebook page. He knows you're on Facebook. You're both off my friends list.

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

Banana striptease...

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'