Talent Show Lovers Gifts

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'I'm a star!'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Oscars

Trump commissions song

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

Magician creates magic square

Magic Accident

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

The Ox Factor

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

Ventriloquist's dummy reads 'Computers for dummies'.

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

"And now, honorary awards for the worst best-picture and the best worst-picture."

Eh... yes Mister eh... Genghis. Can I just ask where did you get your boots?

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

'You call that carol singing?'

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'