Talent Show Lovers Gifts

'And the finalists for this years 'American Idle' are...'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'I'm a star!'

Oscars

Trump commissions song

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Magician creates magic square

Magic Accident

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

Morgan Freeman

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

The Ox Factor

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

Ventriloquist's dummy reads 'Computers for dummies'.

Simon Cowell

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'You call that carol singing?'

"And now, honorary awards for the worst best-picture and the best worst-picture."

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'