Tv Talent Show Aficionado Gifts

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Love is when you watch television together.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Love is when you watch television together.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Succession 2

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Will work for Food Network.

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Time Machine Collision.

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'Call you back - I'm with my agent.'

Animal Actors

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

Night Life: L.A.

I see he's still "working" from home.

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"You like it? We purchased the fourth wall from 'Westworld'."