Tv Talent Show Fan Gifts

Christine O'Donnell's Danse Macabre.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

The Ox Factor

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

Eh... yes Mister eh... Genghis. Can I just ask where did you get your boots?

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'You call that carol singing?'

"This i why I always dress in bright colors."

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."