Tail-wagging Talk Shows Gifts

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"You've already been for a walk."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

Trappist talk show.

'No need to shout.'

K9 Authors.