Tail-wagging Storytellers Gifts

'Now listen: The best time to lick the kids' faces is right after lunch...'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"You've already been for a walk."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

'No need to shout.'

K9 Authors.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

A dog reads a newspaper

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"I think he's lost."

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I got you the same thing."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

'Don't worry... Buster's always digging-up something or other!'

'He hasn't got a tail, so he wags everything.'

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat when I stay perfectly still...'