Tail-wagging Storyteller Gifts

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Dog lover

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"You've already been for a walk."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

'No need to shout.'

K9 Authors.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Cruel Pet Tricks

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

"I got you the same thing."

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

'A walk is supposed to be fun. If it's not, you aren't doing it right.'

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

"I can die at peace now knowing your toe nails are neatly clipped."

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

'He hasn't got a tail, so he wags everything.'

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat when I stay perfectly still...'

'Don't worry... Buster's always digging-up something or other!'

"Good dog!"