Tail-wagging Wit Gifts

'No need to shout.'

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"my people are like 70 in human years."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'That was fun!'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"You've already been for a walk."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

K9 Authors.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"What do you mean you've got the dog house-trained?"

Cruel Pet Tricks

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"I don't know how I'd make it through this without you." "Food."

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"I got you the same thing."

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

'He hasn't got a tail, so he wags everything.'