Tail-wagging Wit Pillows

'No need to shout.'

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"my people are like 70 in human years."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'That was fun!'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"You've already been for a walk."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

K9 Authors.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Cruel Pet Tricks

"I don't know how I'd make it through this without you." "Food."

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

"I got you the same thing."

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

'Don't worry... Buster's always digging-up something or other!'

Doggy Peer Pressure

"I can die at peace now knowing your toe nails are neatly clipped."

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat when I stay perfectly still...'

'He hasn't got a tail, so he wags everything.'

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."