Tail-wagging Expert Pillows

"You spoil that dog!"

Hellooo in there!

"Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of rallying my base."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"He's already getting attached to you."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"You've already been for a walk."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'You tell me how he does it.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

K9 Authors.

Headshot of perky dog.

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

"No, I did not sniff you!"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Cruel Pet Tricks

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"I'm doing it for him. If I brought the ball back each time he wouldn't get any exercise at all."

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

"I got you the same thing."

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."