Tail-wagging Expert T-Shirts

"You spoil that dog!"

Hellooo in there!

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of rallying my base."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"He's already getting attached to you."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"You've already been for a walk."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

'You tell me how he does it.'

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

K9 Authors.

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

Headshot of perky dog.

"No, I did not sniff you!"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

Cruel Pet Tricks

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

"I'm doing it for him. If I brought the ball back each time he wouldn't get any exercise at all."

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"