Tail-wagging Humorist Pillows

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat when I stay perfectly still...'

'I would like you to please not tell people I'm a stalker!'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You've already been for a walk."

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

'No need to shout.'

K9 Authors.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Cruel Pet Tricks

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"I don't know how I'd make it through this without you." "Food."

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

Stick man throws arm for dog

"I got you the same thing."

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

"You know, your poker face is useless if you keep wagging your tail."

Doggy Peer Pressure

'Don't worry... Buster's always digging-up something or other!'

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

"I can die at peace now knowing your toe nails are neatly clipped."

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."