Tail-wagging Humorists Pillows

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Dog lover

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"You've already been for a walk."

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'No need to shout.'

K9 Authors.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"What do you mean you've got the dog house-trained?"

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

A dog reads a newspaper

"I don't know how I'd make it through this without you." "Food."

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

Stick man throws arm for dog

"I didn't have much of a life before Corky, so he was a rescue."

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat when I stay perfectly still...'

Doggy Peer Pressure

'Don't worry... Buster's always digging-up something or other!'

"You know, your poker face is useless if you keep wagging your tail."

'He hasn't got a tail, so he wags everything.'

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

"Good dog!"

'I would like you to please not tell people I'm a stalker!'