Tail-wagging Critic Gifts

"Any other suggestions?"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Bad dog."

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"You've already been for a walk."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

'No need to shout.'

K9 Authors.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

A dog reads a newspaper

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Cruel Pet Tricks

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'The mirror doesn't lie.' 'Thank goodness.'

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I got you the same thing."