Tactless Humor Fan Pillows

"Let's see, where can I hang this good luck shamrock garland? How about on one of your casts?"

Look at that big fat man!

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

The bird feeder.

"Fish finder."

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'