Patchy Humor Fan Pillows

'Didn't your doctor tell you that you're not supposed to light the nicotine patches?'

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Pastry Hat

Trump Poutine

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Introducing...Anagraman.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Check out the old dude.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

Dog in casino.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Winter Weather.