Messy Humor Fan Pillows

"Hey—nice place!"

Skipping Horse

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

Introducing...Anagraman.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Dog in casino.

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Check out the old dude.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

The Snooze Bar.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Beer Parasol.

The Pencil and Sharpener

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

No, I don