Mix-up Humor Fan Pillows

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Dog in casino.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Beer Parasol.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

No, I don

'Joe has been partying hard!'

tRUMp, Pirate President

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

The bird feeder.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'