Mix-up Humor Fan Gifts

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Dog in casino.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"Fish finder."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

The bird feeder.

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'