Twisted Humor Fan Pillows

Running from the wicked queen, Snow White finds herself in a strange part of town...

"My kids won't eat their crusties either."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'More government surveillance!'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

How men process questions.

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"Italy just bought France."

A whale with corporate sponsorship

Biden Ignores the G7 Leaders on Afghanistan

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

Who's the Rogue State?

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."