Funny Mix-up Lovers Pillows

Busy mom drops a child off at the kennels and is on her way to dropping the dog off at kindergarten.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, Glenda, but you've been sitting on a golf ball for the last three times."

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

"Who hired him?"

'Eh Darling. Why is the goldfish in the cats bowl?'

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

'Of course, I'm PETER. Who were you expecting...the Tooth Fairy?'

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

Golfer on Football Pitch

"Ah...I see your mistake. We're, Proctor and Proctor. You're looking for the proctologist, next door."

Animal Hospital.

Whoops! I've brought the wrong husband home from the shops.

Golf Cart Punctures

"Oh, BUDDHIST camp. Our bad, Cap'n."

'You idiot! You didn't tell us this gig was for a marching band! '

"A mistake, I have made."

'... Same old excuse; 'Not tonight dear, I have a splitting headache.' Isn't it strange how I never get a headache?!'

The Frankenstein hog.

"I'm sorry, but I heard it as 'build a park'!"

"If we teamed up we would be unstoppable."