Mix-up Aficionados Pillows

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

Busy mom drops a child off at the kennels and is on her way to dropping the dog off at kindergarten.

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

'Where did we get this new goalie?'

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

Piano tuner with an assistant.

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

"Frankincense you fool...."

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

Golfer on Football Pitch

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

"I think there's been a clerical error!"

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

"Then that lady next to me on the bus must be on her way to the hospital with my loose meat sandwich."

'Eh Darling. Why is the goldfish in the cats bowl?'

Alternative acupuncture.

"Ah...I see your mistake. We're, Proctor and Proctor. You're looking for the proctologist, next door."

"Oh, BUDDHIST camp. Our bad, Cap'n."

Animal Hospital.

Whoops! I've brought the wrong husband home from the shops.

'You idiot! You didn't tell us this gig was for a marching band! '

'It looks like it could be a strike.'

"...They look more like Albert's."

'No son, not like that.'