Mash-up Aficionado Pillows

Alternative acupuncture.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

Just Stop Oil Painting

Mash-test Dummies.

Boxing with your harp

A Heavy Metal Musician.

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

Slim's Baroque-Bach Saloon. I know you love classical music, Slim, but

the Carpenters greatest hits...

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

Knight on horse approaches a pole vault.

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

"Frankincense you fool...."

'Oh well, at least it's breaking up the banks.'

Little Women in Love in the Time of Cholera

Gone with the Wind in the Willows

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

"Jekyll & Heidi"

I see you're still on that subway diet.

"Will you please stop eating that! The crunching is annoying."

"Alright Mr. Caldwell, you're all sewn up. Please be sure to fill out the online survey and don't forget to tip. Thanks."

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

The Spencer Brothers: Heavy Wood or Light Metal?

'You idiot! You didn't tell us this gig was for a marching band! '

"Ah...I see your mistake. We're, Proctor and Proctor. You're looking for the proctologist, next door."

Animal Hospital.

Whoops! I've brought the wrong husband home from the shops.