Festive Mix-up Enthusiast Pillows

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Yo ho ho!

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Merry Kissmas

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Festive squad

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

Poinsettia

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

December Fest

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

'I wrapped it myself !'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

Shelf on an Elf

"You'll notice it's the same list as last year. Let's try a little harder this time."

An Elf Pervert: 'Just put these on...see if they fit.'

Christmas fairy.

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

'-and for fifty years undying loyalty to the company...'

Joey really wanted a Christmas Tree this year...